Legends of Wrestling II Review

By Gary Kearney

So I’m sitting at my desk about to write this review but I need to do a little more research before I can continue. I rummage through my old reviews looking for the lowest score I’ve ever given. Ah, here it is…a 30. Well, ladies and gentlemen we have a new winner, or loser as the case may be. Legends of Wrestling II is the worst game I have ever played. I think my editor must be really mad at me for missing deadlines by giving me this game to review. Or maybe, in another life, I did very bad things to very nice people and this is the payback. Whatever the reason, I am sorry and I promise to be a good boy from now on. Just don’t make me play this game again! There really is no reason to continue this review, no reason to continue wasting pixels and energy on this game but because of contractual obligations I must…(see, and you thought being a game reviewer was all fun, girls and parties!!)

LoW II’s most interesting achievement is the ability to have included 40 “legends”. They range from an old-school Hulk Hogan, to Andre the Giant, to the dude that slapped Andy Kaufman around. And there you have it. No really, that’s the highlight of the game. Seriously, there’s nothing else. See ya, I’m outta here…what? Oh, I still have to write more? Curses.

All right, let’s talk about the graphics. It pains me that the GBA is even capable of displaying graphics this bad. I would say that at least 95% of the Gameboy color games looked better than this. Did someone forgot to tell Powerhead Games that they were developing for the GBA not the GBC? The animation is a joke, and not a very funny one at that. The characters are all basically the same size and shape with no smooth moves to be seen anywhere. Each of the wrestlers have their own signature moves that are not only irritatingly difficult to pull off, sometimes you can not even tell what the move was. Once you grab your opponent you enter into this bizzaro world where both of your bodies just kind of mold together to where you can’t tell your man from your opponent. Who knows what’s happening at this point, but I don’t like it.

There is no sense of control in the game. You spend a great amount of time taking wild swings and grabs into thin air. For instance, say you throw your opponent to the mat and that he’s stunned. There you are standing above this helpless heap of a man and you’re about to unleash an awesome display of power and grace to finish off the guy. Alas, it ain’t going to happen. At least it’s not going to a lot of the time. Instead of a beautiful move you are more likely to see your character flapping his arms around like a mad man as you try to find the exact spot in the ring that will allow you to attack the downed opponent. All the while the crowd is turning against you because you’re not exciting enough! Also, this is not a very fast game and that really hurts parts of the action. For example, when your opponent is trying to pull off one of those off-the-ropes type of attacks it looks like it is in super slow motion. All you need to do is move one step out of the way and watch as he goes “flying” by you.

There are several different game modes, from one-on-one to 3 and 4 way matches. The career mode is where Captain Lou Albano manages you as you work your way up the ranks of the wrestling world. But really, there are much better careers out there for everyone. Just stay in school…

In The End, This Game Hath Been Rated: 27%.  Legends of Wrestling II is a bad game. I wish I could tell you about the silver lining in this black cloud, but it really is just a black cloud this time.